Ah, yes, a day of over-thinking and over-analyzing the past.  Just when I saw a glimmer of light, off I go bounding toward the darkness.
I saw a quote today, one of those annoying picture-in-the-background-fancy-font shit.  I'll spare you the upload, it will only further annoy us both.
"The past called.  Don't answer, it has nothing new to say."
Easy for you to say, asshole!

Anyway.  Got lots of exercise today, took the dog for 4 miles of walking, beach time and doggy park.  Vyvanse was good today, I didn't feel so fucked up.  I noticed it coming and going, if I slowed down and relaxed I would get sleepy.  Then I'd do something and it would come back.  Interesting.

Tomorrow I have to go see my physician.  I'm nervous because I have to tell them about these new drugs and diagnosis, I don't want to see their faces.  I know they will be profesh, but still.  And I know that I shouldn't ashamed of being bipolar and needing meds, but I can't help but feel like a psycho.  I had to tell my dentist a few weeks ago, he was actually the first person I told.  When first diagnosed I was absolutely horrified, I cried and cried.  I didn't want to be associated with this condition.  After all, I had self-diagnosed myself with some fine mental illnesses!  Those I liked, I was quite comfortable being those disorders.  My dentist was actually wonderful about it, I'm pretty sure he saw my red face, looking down, and mumbled bipolar disorder.  He seemed genuinely interested in how I was managing, and even laughed warmly when I made a slight joke.  I like that guy.  His office smells of mold and 1975, I can barely tolerate the smell, but he is a pretty awesome guy.

It's getting later now, I must prepare for tomorrow's impending doom.
I'm not feeling positive at all tonight.  :/